Vessels and Cracks

Paper Towns Quotes

“You can imagine another well, but never quite perfectly.”

“Like, each of us starts out as a watertight vessel. And these things happen–these people leave us, or don’t love us, or don’t get us, or we don’t get them, and we lose and fail and hurt one another. And the vessel starts to crack open in places.”

“But there is all this time between where the cracks start to open and when we finally fall apart. And it’s only in that time that we can see one another, because we see out of ourselves through our cracks and into others through theirs.”

“Before that, we were just looking at ideas of each other, like looking at your window shade but never seeing inside. But once the vessel cracks, the light can get in. The light can get out.”

Thoughts:
Sometimes you have this whole idea of someone in your head, like maybe they’re perfect or untouchable or unbreakable, that maybe they’re plain or predictable or just weird. But those ideas we have about that someone tell us more about ourselves than the actual person. It makes me wonder, why would I ever believe anyone is only what I believe them to be on the surface? When I know that I am more than I could ever show by just one look.

Sometimes I write hoping for someone to relate to what I’m revealing. Reading the words are like peering through the cracks. It’s the vessel of my life and experiences being cracked open, revealing my most authentic self. All of me. Not only the good. Not only the bad. The only me, regardless of what someone may see or believe. And it’s nice when a stranger peers through the cracks and can see the light or feel a connection. But mostly, I wonder about those who have imagined they’ve known me perfectly. The other vessels that exist in my life.. I’m waiting for them to peer through these cracks and see the losses, gains, the ugly broken parts, but also the beautiful whole parts that holds the brokenness together. And know that I’m not just one thing or the other. I want them to be connected to the real me, in wholeness. And I, connected to the real them.