Say You Love Me

I remember a friend joked about my jumper being broken. I laughed it off and thought to myself, “not as broken as my heart.” I loved practice but wanted to disappear when it was time to hit every line. I held in tears and ran hard to finish first every time. I hated practice with a passion. At least on the days when I felt like I was his practice. I always thought to myself, “What could be worst than running suicides?” I got an answer. Loving him felt like dying one hundred times. When I played the game I loved, sometimes it felt like a cruise. But soon, I played it differently like I couldn’t stand to bruise. I couldn’t take it. The war being fought between my mind and heart. I took the blame for any loss because they said I was the spark. She just kept saying, “Give it all, and put your heart on the line.” But whenever I gave my heart the world crushed it every time.