“If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more.”
I won’t even speak your name because they couldn’t begin to understand. My head is full of thoughts and my heart full of emotions, leaving me feeling that I could explode at any moment. At times, it feels insane. The way that love can consume you even when that love may be one-sided. I know how to deal with these things. Even on the days when I’m too weak to accept it I know the next day or next week I will wake up and accept that sometimes it doesn’t work out. I understand that what we want isn’t always what we deserve. And sometimes it’s just a matter of timing, where we have to let things go and they’ll come back when we’re ready for them. Or we’ll gain something better in its place.
When I realize how much time and energy I’ve spent on anyone I’ve fallen in love with, especially one specific lover, it makes me think of Plato saying that love is a serious mental illness. The things we do and the lengths we’ll go to for the people we love is insane, especially when it comes to unrequited love. But I also understand what Plato meant when he said, “the madness of love is the greatest of heaven’s blessings.” When you fall in love for the first time or when you finally find the love you deserve, it’s one of the most amazing feelings in the world. And that feeling can’t be replaced.
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