Say You Love Me

“Opening up your soul to someone, letting them into your spirit, thoughts, fears, future, hopes, dreams… That is being naked.” ~ Rob Bell”


“Speak and open up your mind. It’s something you should do all the time.”

I’ve been listening to this song a lot lately. It’s in my ear telling me “you know you might surprise yourself.” Over and over.

Surprise yourself.”

I have surprised myself lately. I’m allowing myself to feel my pain and live through it, without constantly punishing myself for not being able to fix it and not being able to be better. I have accepted that I can’t change who I am or how I love. And I don’t need to. I’ve admitted that maybe I hold on to everything because I’m so afraid of being lonely. I’ve been lonely before, for too long. But I’d rather figure this out alone and embrace my authentic self, than give in to everyone else and tiptoe around relationships because I’m so afraid of losing people in my life. Let me be completely honest with myself about what I feel to be true. A few of these people are main characters in the story of my life, and in their story I’m probably a minor detail that can easily be forgotten. That is just the truth. At least I can be a big girl and admit it. It’s about time I got rid of all the hesitancy to say, “hey, you care too much, you push too much. And it’s not okay.” “Stop begging people to love you.”

Have you ever paid attention to the things people do and the words they don’t say? You’ll never have to listen to anything anyone tells you. You won’t have to ask them where you stand or if they care about this or that. It’s all in the silence anyways. The answers to the questions you ask don’t matter.

Here’s that song again… “You know you might surprise yourself.”

Well, let me surprise myself again by not saying more than is necessary (which I have a habit of doing.)  Yes, sometimes life is hard. And it sucks when I feel I’m the only one who has my back. But somehow I find myself growing the most in the cruelest and loneliest moments of my life. Every bad day helped me become a better person with a bigger heart. And I know it’s time that I behave like the strong, brilliant person that I am. It’s time that I show some real strength.

The lessons I’ve learned in my life: shit happens, don’t take anything personal, and the most important thing I can do is to genuinely love myself. 

“Let go and surprise yourself.”

One response to “#behonest”

  1. Beautifully said. “Let go and surprise yourself”, we all live with much of the same fears, often kept deep inside us and protected, I do believe. I think we start to see some beautiful things emerge, when we can follow those words as you say, to just let go.

About Me

– I am an ancient soul, in a modern body, with a futuristic state of mind.


“Learning from experiences is one of the ways in which we decide if experience may frighten us, weaken us or make us self-doubt, but it may also make us stronger. Sankofa teaches there are valuable lessons to be learned from the past.”


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