Say You Love Me

You never reach out to me. So I stopped bothering you. You never tell me anything. So I stopped thinking out loud. Now, I could never admit the truth. So I say less than what’s on my mind. I can never come close to telling you that you’re one of my best friends. Only for you to think, “How can someone you never see be one of your best friends?” I know it’s crazy how there’s no one else I could think to tell my secrets. But even new friends I’ve met along the way have not seemed worthy enough. Maybe you’re a soulmate and you’ll never know the depths of my understanding of you. Because I am no longer brave enough to tell you that each day I still think of you. I’m sure it’s impossible for you to understand that it’s not because of selfish reasons that I can’t forget you. And that it’s purely because of who you are and what I know you could be that holds my attention. Yet, it’s all so silly to say out loud. And from the outside looking in you’d only think I haven’t let go. When the truth is that I’ve let go a hundred times, and decided a hundred and one to grab the wheel again. Believe me, I don’t believe in everyone this much. I don’t open up this freely about the things I love. Only to you. It’s sad, I know. I’m too embarrassed to do it anymore. So forgive me when I don’t say what I mean. Forgive me when I don’t say anything at all. Or maybe I don’t need forgiveness. Maybe my unspoken affection is what you wanted.