I imagined love for far too long. What’s wrong with me? Some days I did it only to get by. A love I knew really didn’t exist, and a lover I knew didn’t genuinely love me. It feels like being hit by a car. God, the only way I could get up and walk away with no one knowing of my cuts, bruises and bleeding was by pretending that it never happened. I pretended for so long. Eventually doing more damage than what was initially done. But I’m stronger now and I can admit the truth. I can be brutally honest with myself and admit that I lived it all in my mind. I wanted to be more important than I was. I wanted to feel special to the person that was special to me. I held out hope even when it was truly hopeless. I guess I did it to save myself. I did it to hold on to a love that changed everything. Now, I’m different and I can’t go back. I wish I could go back and unlearn some things. Remove the scars I’ve collected from the hope I held on to. I’m so much stronger now. But I was so much happier then.
– I am an ancient soul, in a modern body, with a futuristic state of mind.#SYLM
3 responses to “hello, darkness”
Again, such honesty in here. Brings up much for me personally reading this. Learning to be strong in our weaknesses. It feels like a unfair fight at times.
True. As much as I feel better for it I don’t feel better at all.
Boy do I ever know how you feel.
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