Say You Love Me

“Opening up your soul to someone, letting them into your spirit, thoughts, fears, future, hopes, dreams… That is being naked.” ~ Rob Bell”


Sometimes this thought crosses my mind even though I know it’s complete bullshit. Still, it’s hard not to wonder why I pour so much of myself into people that never stick around. I wonder how do they forget so easily, as if nothing that we were mattered. I guess I can’t blame them for caring so much. I just thought it would mean something. Yet, it never does. But they say that it’s life. They tell you to get over it. Meet new people. And I understand that you have to keep moving forward, but what’s the point if you never find consistency in any of these new things. 

I know what it’s like to be alone and in my own company. I know how to stand on my own. I know how to put a smile on my face and never speak a word about my sufferings. I know how to be okay even when nothing is okay. But for once, I’d like to have something good that doesn’t go away. To have something that sticks. To delight in my happiness without reminding myself to never get too high. 

I know, I must be being prepared for some extraordinary destiny. Yay. But how much longer does this have to be a battlefield? Sure it’s good to be strong but lately that’s all I am. And I am ready to be more. So much more than the battles. So much more than everything that I’ve lost. This should feel like more than survival. All I want is something that feels like home. To be more than okay and more than strong. But until then, I’m okay. Maybe that’ll be enough for now.

3 responses to “#morewords”

  1. Boy can I ever relate to what you wrote. It is exhausting and disheartening at times. Some times more than others:( I was speaking to a friend the other day who brought up pretty much what you wrote here. What I said was please don’t stop believing in magic because if you do, I might too.

    1. blueskyremedy Avatar

      So glad you shared that and helped me work out these tangled thoughts of mine. Lol. I’ve had a few people tell me that they don’t believe in much anymore and sometimes I get stuck in that place, but I’m too idealistic to not have some kind of hope. I want to choose my life and love, not settle for it! You reminded me of this quote: “Those who do not believe in magic will never find it.”

      1. That is one of my favorite quotes:) and I look at it often when I am in the head space of questioning if I am too idealistic. I think at this point in life I have realized you have to be honest in viewing if you are with someone who wants to be “talked in to” hope/love or if they really do believe in it themselves. When you are someone who believes in love ultimately (regardless of past hurt) people can gravitate to that for the wrong reasons and will ultimately drain you of yours with the desire of gaining their own hope. It doesn’t work that way, two people both need to believe in it separate from one another. I think what you said choosing your life and love is exactly it. You choose and that is something that goes over many peoples heads.

About Me

– I am an ancient soul, in a modern body, with a futuristic state of mind.


“Learning from experiences is one of the ways in which we decide if experience may frighten us, weaken us or make us self-doubt, but it may also make us stronger. Sankofa teaches there are valuable lessons to be learned from the past.”


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