I feel that I have lived a great portion of my life alone.
I say that because not many, if any at all, are aware of what goes on inside of me.
The silent battles I’ve fought in my head and heart.
Heartbreak is an old friend and it feels as familiar to me as my christian name.
When anyone speaks it, I think to myself “you don’t know her like I do.”
I TELL NO ONE OUR SECRETS
There is no trace of our intimacies, of our stories
I tell you about my experience
All without giving myself away.
So when you spoke to me of him and of her
I looked the other way
As I subtly told you that I could relate
Our memories quietly race inside my head
Your name used to roll off my tongue like a kiss
My words and poems made you feel at home for a while
As you wrapped my insecurities in your arms and I’d smile
But this is hell…
How do I escape you when you’re the only feeling I’ve known.
When you’re the one feeling that reminds me I am alive
When I can’t find the love I’ve given away all my life
Love, you were the feeling that kept away the numbing cold
And because of this, my loss, I agree that maybe it’s healthier to hurt
It’s healthier to feel something rather than nothing at all
Because I tell everyone to let you go.
Hurt, it may be I want you to myself.
It may be I want to spare everybody else.
Because this is not where our story ends.
You live on in my words and thoughts
Heartbreak. Mine, hers, and the worlds.
On the inside I believe that I’m bigger with all of you.
And I’ve learned that I can’t give you, my heartbreak, to anyone else.
Some people are just born to hurt and heal
And maybe we’re not here to heal only ourselves,
I think we carry it to learn each other
We carry it to heal someone else’s soul
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