Say You Love Me

So I feel I’ve let myself down a bit when it comes to this blog. It actually goes way back to 2014. In the beginning, I just loved to write and to be able to express myself in ways that I couldn’t through conversation. It’s like my mind and thoughts have always been a puzzle that needs to be solved. When I write I don’t feel so misunderstood or judged. At the same time, it’s still hard to be completely honest about how difficult things have been for me. I’ve had my ups and downs. And I’ve been fighting to find some meaning in all of the disappointments and losses. It’s like every time you take 2 steps forward you end up taking 5 backwards. Trust has been hard for me but I always find a way to see the good or believe everything has a reason. Every post has been a summary of my experiences and feelings; the good and bad. And right now, I’m in the midst of a lesson that I’m struggling to understand. I lost myself and I’ve lost a really close friend. A best friend. I’ve struggled a lot and with my mental health because with everything going on in my life sometimes it feels like I’m just cursed or that it’s easier to be alone… or to give love and never expect anything in return. I know I’m wrong but I’m tired.