It’s feels like a mindfuck when I think about you and the last two years. Letting down my guard and believing that I could open up my heart again without being ridiculed. I felt seen and wanted and uncomplicated, like maybe I’m not so hard to understand or love. Sometimes I cry and laugh about it at the same time when I think of how deep I let you in, only to be left feeling like someone twisted a knife into my stomach or shot a bullet through my heart from point blank range. I never checked for exit wounds but I know they are there because with every breath I take and every smile I make I feel the life bleeding right out of me.
I don’t know, some days I try to tell myself that maybe I just got you all wrong. It was my mistake for getting so close with you because you always knew it’d end this way.
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