Say You Love Me

Letting go is never as simple as people make it sound. Sometimes it can feel like one of the hardest things you’ve ever done. I know when I get to the point that I am over you memories will still linger in my mind. Maybe that’s the worst part, knowing you will always be important to me and just learning to live with it. I have to force myself into a new normal, which is living my life without you. You meant more to me than most people could understand. Everyone else is on the outside looking in but we were up close and personal. You were my confidant and closest friend. More than just a lover or a good time. So forgive me if I am taking my sweet time moving on from you. Every time is the last time I write about you. Until I think about you or dream about you or remember I still care about you when I want to tell you about something I know you’d like. Things only you would like. That’s what kills me. I shared things with you that I shared with no one else. Now, I keep those things to myself. I’m not sure what stage I am at when it comes to letting you go. I’m past the part of making a fool of myself, so maybe I am somewhere between depression and acceptance. It’s been a roller-coaster of emotions. I often think about my future and wonder what I’ll have learned from our relationship and what I’ll remember about you. I know I could never hate you but maybe one day my love for you will be buried so deep that you don’t even come to mind. It’s hard to imagine that now. Maybe I’ll be buried deep in your memories too. I thought I’d know you for the rest of my life but who can ever know what the future holds. I still have these letters, gifts, and photos that are hard to let go because they remind me of something good. One day this will be the last time I write about you. Somehow, I ‘ll say goodbye without falling apart inside.